The calm before the storm.......

Good morning!

The sun rises on a new day is what I thought of as I walked out of my house this morning……..at least that is what I initially thought of.   You know when it looks like everything in the world is crumbling down around you and then for a moment, you get a break in the storm and you see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You think to yourself, maybe today will be the day things start to get better. 

That is what I thought this morning; when I came out of my apartment and saw this:

Beautiful! Even more so when you see it with your own eyes.  Then the universe reminded me of my situation; like waking up in the middle of a battle field and forgetting for a moment where you are and then looking down and realizing you are at the bottom of a ditch with a broken leg.    

I get to school, I open the  back door of my car and then I see probably the one thing I was really looking forward to this morning was spilt all over the back seat of my car.   My delicious amazing coffee, all gone; how sad :(

So onto the original reason I was going to going to Blog this morning, to give all my wonderful readers and fans and update on my current situation. So here it goes…………………

I am now officially broke!!! no bueno indeed :(.   

I initially started this blog right before I came down here to hopefully bring my situation into light, to try and raise some funds for my departure from Montreal to help make my move to a new country a little easier.  

Unfortunately this blog never raised the funds I thought it would; or to be more precise it did not raise any funds what so ever.  The only donation I’ve ever gotten was from a client of mine; which to this day I have not forgotten (merci beaucoup M. Corbeil!!!!!!!), nor do I ever think I will ever forget the amazing charitable act that client did.  There are some things or situations in life where the world spits back at you the results you expected and there are other times where certain people amaze you.    The downside to that is that it is normally the people you least expect it that step forward and impress you the most; yet the people you expect to have your back normally let you down the most.  It is odd how the world works and even more odd is what drives us as humans do kind acts or what we deem we have time for.  

I do not know how many times I have heard comments such as “I do not have the money” or “I really do not have the time” yet if the proper situation arises then they all of a sudden they do have the time or they do have the money.  I know every situation is different from one person to the next; but do not say you cannot help someone out if you are broke but then the next weekend you are out taking a trip for fun to another island or you are going out on a rum run or skydiving, or whatever activity suits you. For those of you who do not know; a rumrun is you and up to19 of your friends, dancing and partying all night long while drinking alcohol on a moving bus that spends the evening touring the island.  Pretty friggin amazing if I do say so myself.  I blogged about my own experience on one in one of my earlier posts (if you feel like reading about it *wink*).  

I could have actually went on a RumRun last weekend for my friends’ birthday (sorry Michele!!!!), unfortunately I had to kindly decline for obvious reasons;  as when I say I do not have the money, I truly mean it.  If you do not feel like going; then be honest and say “I do not want to go”.  I think honesty goes much further in life than dishonesty.  I do not see why our society feels that it is better to lie to spare someone’s feelings that to be honest and maybe hurt them in the process.  Personally I prefer honesty, sometimes I may hurt people and sometimes they may hurt me but at least it is the truth.  Nothing hurts more than someone close to you lieing to you and then you finding out the truth later on down the road.   Not that I am not guilty of such things as well but it is something I continually strive to improve on.  

Which brings me to another random thought about something we all do; Procrastination!  How many things in life do we push aside and say to ourselves “I’ll get to that later”.  Something I have said to myself a many a times and that is exactly what I did with my blog when I decided I no longer had the time to spend on the computer.   It goes to show you what procrastination and laziness can lead to.  I remember it just like it was yesterday, me telling myself “it has only been a week since you last post; after this weekend for sure”; next thing you know it was it was two weeks, then a month, then several months and now, well now I’ve successfully completed another four semesters of vet school with hopefully successful completion of my 6^th semester.  So it has been close to a year and five months since my last blog posts; which to be honest when I saw the date I said to myself:

“F**k me; has it really been that long?!”.  

After re-reading my stories and experiences from my first semester on this island; I have to say that probably one of my biggest regrets is not having spent the time to continue my blog on a daily or weekly basis.   Which only emphasizes the last point I was making; don’t be a procrastinator!!!!!!!!!  If you got something to do; do it NOW! Not later!  Or at least do the best you can haha :P

Unfortunately despite my best efforts and the best efforts of many back home; this may be my last semester or I should say more this will most likely be my last semesters.   One of the hardest things to admit openly to people is the fact that you need help and it is even more difficult to ask for financial help from others.   I did that last semester; I openly spoke to a few of about my situation at the time and the kind of muck I was standing in.  I even went as far as to openly admit on our class (Greenies) website; that I could no longer afford to be on this island and the way it stood I had just enough money to pay for 6^th semester but that 7^th semester was greatly in doubt.   I decided to try and throw a party to have my entire semester together to have a good time and at the same time raise enough money to hopefully pay my cost of living on this island and ideally a part of my tuition.  In the end, it was a lot of effort for not much return.  I made only 1000ec (about $370us); obviously any amount helps but in the end it barely made a dent or contribution to my cause.  I think part of it was bad timing (there was the 7^th semester banquet, which is like their graduation party) but part of it comes to what I was saying at the beginning of this blog about how people make time or have money for the things they so choose.   I poured my heart and emotions out and the people that stepped forward to help me were the people I least expected (Courtney B. + Samantha S. you will forever have a place in my heart) and some of the people I expected to be there disappointed me the most (which won't be named on a public forum). 

Money drives this world and most of the people in it and it is unfortunate that Americans do not know how lucky they are in regards to the amount of money their government is willing to give them to fund their educational futures.  On the flip side, the sad part is how expensive it is to fund their education;  so I guess it is a bit of a trade-off.  Still; what I wouldn’t give for that negative trade-off at the moment.   The Canadian financial institution is a little different and they have a cap or a limit on how much they give.  Sadly that cap is only about half of my total tuition and as stated I am tapped out!

So as it stands today; I have exhausted all possible sources back home to try and get money so I could at least finish my time here on this island and at least get to my clinical year before being forced to stop.  Not sure what else to do and I no longer know who else to ask; I feel like I have tried all possible options besides selling my body for those other kinds of services, which has been recommended to me by a couple of people in the past :S 

Although one of my friends; recommended I try emailing a bunch of rich people explaining my situation.  Which I thought it wouldn't hurt to try, or perhaps if I am lucky one of those amazing rich entrepreneur which just stumble across my site and say; WOW this kid deserves a break.  *sigh*  Wouldnt that be sweet; soooooooo just in case............. Bill Gates; Warren Buffet; Larry Ellison; Charles &David Koch; Jim &Alice Walton; S. Robson Walton; Michael Bloomberg; Richard Branson; OPRAH!!!!!!!!  Who knows maybe one of them searches their name on a regular basis haha :P  This same friend also offered to give me a part of his savings (Shaunt! you have no idea what that meant to me or how it reflects what kind of person you are; thank you from the bottom of my heart!); which brings me back to that comment I made previously about how certain people can just completely amaze you; or forever change your perspective on an idea or concept.

So when life craps on you, you need to just clean yourself off and keep on trucking.  That is all I can do and hope in the end that one day I can still complete my dream of being a veterinarian; a dream that I started all those years back and at the time it seemed quite impossible (heck; my school counsellor even said so; so wrong; but thats another story) but there is one thing I have always believed and I still believe and that is if you stop trying you’ll never get anywhere but with enough effort and time even the impossible can become possible.   Such as the concept of a drop of water slowly carving its way through a giant boulder.

So I am hoping that the impossible will become the possible again; until that time I shall keep on blogging and describing the rest of my time on this island; whether it be for a month or until the end of April, I’ll keep doing what I have always done and hope that things will work itself out.

To all of my friends who have helped me in the past; you will never know how much you have touched my heart and I will never forget the kind acts you have done for me.  

My next post…..I shall try and recap for you my comings and goings for the last year and a bit.  Although to be honest probably anything other than this semester may be a bit hazy haha :P

Much Love!

Jonathan =)