Another update…………

After my last blog post someone commented that my posts were so uplifting to read as they were always so positive and inspirational.  Well unfortunately I do not know how inspirational or positive this post is going to be.  I wish I could report something positive and although a couple of great learning experiences have occurred over the last couple of weeks; that has been masked by the fact that the reality of my situation is starting to hit home.

I am one who normally tries not to stress, but unfortunately as much as I try, it is obvious that everything that has been occurring is finally starting to weigh down which is presenting itself with the slew of headaches I have been having as of late, including the one I had today that was so bad it forced me to leave school and miss three of my four classes this morning.  I went home, popped a bunch of advil and took a shower to help alleviate the symptoms.  It is currently 18h30 and I still have not shaken this headache or the stiffness I feel running through my neck, my shoulders and down my back.   Plus, because of the way I have been feeling, I have not had my usual study schedule that I am used to and I have to say that the amount of time I have put in has been quite sub-par compared to what I have done and what I should be doing.  Which brings me to the surgery midterm exam that we had yesterday.  An exam that was worth 50% of our final grade; which on its own is stressful enough but now I have to deal with the fact that I have no idea how I did or what I got on the exam as the school decided to block access to my account because I still have a remaining balance of around $16,000us that I still have not paid.  I know I did not study as thoroughly as I should have, and I know there were many questions I was unsure of; so I could have technically done very well but I could have technically done very poorly.  Which I guess could be a blessing in a disguise in the sense that if I failed miserably that would be an added stress; although I have to say that not knowing is a bigger stress than knowing and dealing with it.

Similar to my current situation, I am in a state of limbo. Locked in between knowing and not knowing.  Which is very much a hassel and a stress to deal with.   I've been on this emotional rollercoaster since 4^th semester; initially I did not think I’d have enough money for sixth and  seventh semester.  Then luckily with some help of family, friends and some planning on my part my only concern was being able to cover seventh semester so I could leave this island and not stress about having to come back to finish my last semester.  Once again, thanks to a bunch of generous people and my amazing mother I was able to work something out so that goal was accomplished. 

Then to the next step of my education, my clinical year at MSU.   Our game plan was to initially continue with what we have been doing, which was pretty much playing my finances on a month to month basis.  Advance a month, I'd be able to pay off some of the interest on my loan which would then free up some room so I can then pay the next month.  Plus in the process of living on a month to month basis it left the possibility of always finding a new door to open (so to speak), in that we have been constantly discussing my situation with a multitude of people but those are a work in progress and even though most of them say no at the moment, you never knew what can happen a month from now or a week or even 24hrs from now.  

Unfortunately, getting a student visa (which will actually be a temporary work visa) is where all the doors got barred up.  MSU is asking that I provide a letter of financial status to them within the next couple of weeks.  In this letter my bank is supposed to attest to the fact that I have $18,000 to cover my living expenses over the next year while living in Michigan.  As I just mentioned; this is not possible because I do not have those kinds of funds available to me at the moment.  I am living on a month to month basis and I can provide enough perhaps for a couple of months but nothing that would cover a year of expenses.  Obviously my bank is not willing to write such a letter without the funds being available, which is most understandable.

So pretty much without this proof of finances, I cannot get the documents required from MSU stating that I will be attending there school for the next year.  If I do not get this letter from them, this means I cannot complete my Visa documents so I can then get my temporary US visa so I can study in the states for the next year.  If I do not get my student visa then I definitely cannot finish up my clinical year in the states; which mean I do not graduate in April 2014 along with my other fellow greenies, which means I do not get my DVM which means I have then indebted myself for a little over $160,000 for nothing.  Which means at that point, my only real option would be to return to Canada; find a job as an animal health technician again and then try and raise enough money so I can then finish up my clinical year.  The nice thing is that I can potentially hold off on my clinical year for at least one year, maybe two.  The down side is that it is going to be a one to two year break from my studies; where despite my best efforts, I will no longer be in the “zone” so to speak.  I'll have to go into my clinical rotation with the information no longer being as clear and worst of all my thought process will no longer be primed for that last step of my veterinarian learning experience.  Despite the best efforts of any clinic I work at; I will fall into the routine of a technician and whatever cases I may take a look at; I will not get the same experience or criticism from others in regards to how I view that case and that patient.  My thought process will be skewed and who knows to what degree.  It is similar to when I used to play baseball; as a kid I was taught an improper technique of how to swing a bat; by the time someone told me what I was doing wrong and how to correct it; it was all that much harder to correct my imperfections, rather than learning it properly the first time and making minor adjustments to streamline it out.

So this is the current dilemma I am dealing with, and as much as I try not to keep this in my thoughts it is pretty much impossible to avoid at this stage of the game.  I knew this moment was always a possibility and I knew the odds of me getting the funds to complete seventh semester was trying enough, but I always just thought that somehow; someway things would work out and that I could move on to my clinical year with the rest of my colleagues.  Now that it is more of a reality rather than a thought it is a reality I really do not want to face and definitely hope I do not have to face.  I still have faith that somehow or someway it will work out, that somehow someway I will find a way to continue.  I am so thankful for everyone who has tried to help me whether it be financially or emotionally, and although I have not thanked everyone individually you will all be in my thoughts and I wish you nothing but the best.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and for anyone who regularly reads my blog; please be aware that despite some of my negativity in this post; I will never give up on my dream and I hope that if you have a dream you will follow it and continue on until it is achieved.

I am supposed to be leaving this island is less than two months, what is to be my fate at the of this time period?  Am I going to the states to finish the last stage of this amazing journey or am I returning to Canada to delay the dream I have had for so long?

I am hoping for the former over the latter obviously, but at this point the amount of hope or faith that I have that this will occur is rapidly diminishing.   :S  As always I will do my best to keep you posted of any new developments as they arise.  

Once again if you happen to know of anyone who would be willing to listen or perhaps donate to my cause, it would be greatly appreciated if you could share my story with them.  

Jonathan =)

On a site note, I shall be spaying my first dog tomorrow and I am super excited about it.  Also, last week I was able to castrate a sheep and I am proud to say he is doing amazingly well without any complications J

Finally!!! :)

So a bit late as I wanted to post this close to 2 weeks ago now……….

I AM GOING TO MICHIGAN! :)

What does that mean exactly you may be asking yourself? Well it means I was one of the students selected to go to Michigan State University (MSU) for my clinical rotation.   So hopefully if all goes well in less than 4 months I will be starting to next phase of my education and the next step to become Dr. Amgar; DVM :)

In regards to my financial situation; I cannot say how thankful I am of everyone who donated something to my cause; whether it be $5 or $500; I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  So the way it stands now; I was able to pay off my 6^th semester debt (as I stated in my last update); and I made enough over break along with your generation donations to be able to cover my living expenses for this semester.

 So now it is just a matter of trying to squeeze enough money out the Canadian banking system to be able to pay off 7^th semester that way the next phase of my education isn’t cut short abruptly.  Luckily I still have a little over 3 months to try and figure something out; plus who knows perhaps with enough generous donations  it might make it a little easier to achieve.  So please once again; if you can share my story with whoever you can it would be greatly appreciated.

 Now that is covered; let me tell you about 7^th semester and how it is kicking all of our asses haha :P  Not in the fact that it is extremely difficult or mentally draining as it was last semester but more physical draining as our days are long and very preoccupied.  It is quite difficult to find the time to study and when you think you have put aside some time to study you are to tired to properly absorb anything or to put in any progressive time.   Still I am loving seventh semester; I am up more or less every day as of 5am and the rest of the day just flies right by until about 5pm.  Why do I enjoy such a crazy schedule you may ask? Well that is easy! It is because we are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel; we are finally starting to believe that ya; you know what; I can do this; I can be a veterinarian and it feels amazing.  

So far I have rectally palpated over two dozens cows; I have felt ovaries; I have felt the arteries of the animal pulsating inside of them; I have even felt a baby fetus inside the womb; plus to top it off we got to witness the birth of a baby cow; which is just a phenomenal experience that I cannot explain.

I have the experience of getting to SOAP (ie: perform a physical exam + update its file history pretty much) a donkey and a sheep at least once a day; sometimes twice a day.  We named them Waffle and Guapo respectively.  I have to say Waffle is amazing; and I want to adopt a donkey in the future; I am just in love with him.  As for Guapo he was a bit crazy at the beginning but I think today; after over a week and a half of effort; I think we finally broke through as he accepted feed from my hand willingly after we released him from his halter.  I felt just wonderful and I hope these experiences just keep on rolling in.   

I have an awesome SOAP’ing team and we get along super well.  Last Thursday we anesthetized Waffle so we could perform an arthrocentesis on him.  I got to perform one on the tibiotarsal joint; which in the hock to horse people or your ankle to us.  Our team worked great together and Waffle woke up with no complications and has been doing well I am happy to say.  

Now this week I get to take part in the spay of a dog; I will be the anesthetist; so I am looking forward to that.  Although I am definitely looking a little more forward to performing the surgery myself; which does not occur until the beginning of March.  Then following that; I start my equine rotation followed my emergency clinic rotation; which I have to say is not going to be a fun month.  If I think I am pulling long hours now; then March is going to be incomprehensible haha :S  Still I’m sure in the end I will enjoy every moment of the learning experience; as this is the time for me sharpen my skills and become a better veterinarian before finally treating my own patients.

Sometimes you doubt the choices you make in your life but I have to say I have never doubted the fact that I wanted to be and could be a veterinarian and my experiences over this past little while just goes to prove it.

I cannot wait to be a doctor of animals! That’s it for now; I will try and write again soon.

Jonathan =)

 Ammendum to this blog (something any vet student can appreciate at the moment):  11-02-2013
So originally this blog was supposed to be posted last Monday but unfortunately I delayed posting it and then my equine rotation kicked in.  Which pretty much meant we had no life for the rest of the week as we had to be at school by six in the morning and at four in the afternoon; which meant normally we were done by around five.  On top of that we just finished two exams; one of them being my Theriogenology exam; the other being our Large animal medicine exam which we just completed this morning.  I am still waiting on the results of our LAM exam but I am happy to say that I passed the therio exam with a comfortable grade.  As for the rest of my day; besides the fact that I had a horrible headache most of the day, it was actually quite enjoyable as I got to learn the intricacies of how to properly herd, restrain and examine a herd of cattle.  I have to say the work is hard, yet enjoyable but personally I do not picture myself ever being a production vet but hey; who knows.   Tomorrow afternoon I get to help anesthetize a donkey and then finish off the week with some cattle management followed by an exam on Monday.  Another crazy week almost finished :)

Unfortunately ChipIn the site I am using to collect my funds is closing down; so I won`t be able to monitor the progress with everyone but I shall keep you update of any changes.  So if you would like to make a donation you can do so by clicking on the donate icon on the side panel or go directly to PayPal and make a donation to: jonamgar@hotmail.com.  Thank you once again to all who have donated and my apologies for not having the time to contact each and everyone of you individually. 

Let it rain :)

First off………………….Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!

Followed by a very Happy Birthday to myself (it was on the 3^rd of January for those of you who did not know) and a Happy first day back to school and more important Happy beginning of 7^th semester! What an exciting past week it has been  :)

So it is currently 3 in the morning and I am spending my time in the VTH (veterinary teaching hospital) along with one of my fellow colleagues doing our first clinical shift at Ross U.   At the moment we have four hospitalized cases, two of them being an HBC (a hit by car) who seem relatively stable but these cases always have the chance to decompress quite rapidly.   Most likely one of them will have its front leg amputated tomorrow and the other one should recover quite well without any problems. Then there is a poor dog who has some kind of nasal abnormality that it is making it difficult for him to breath or in my doctor terms the animal is dyspnic :P.  Tomorrow morning he is supposed to have a rhinoscopy done to see what is going on as they apparently could not see anything on radiographs.  I’ll have to check in tomorrow afternoon to see the results as I feel so bad with him as he sleeps in his cage with his mouth partially open.

Some of you may be wondering why I am in the clinic at 3am considering it is the first day of school.  Well the honest truth is that I volunteered for this shift :D  They asked if anyone would be interested in getting some experience working in the clinic and I said yes please J  In retrospect I guess it would have been more interesting if I signed up for the shift at regular hours as I would have been able to diagnose and help stabilize these patients but I also did not want my entire day spent on campus.  Although now I am spending the entire night at school and not getting any sleep before class in the morning.  Hmmmm what was my rationale when I signed up for these shifts?  Or right making myself available for our Semester Olympics so I could help win the soccer tournament this time around haha :P   Tomorrow morning should not be so bad, I am definitely not looking forward to Thursday morning when I do another one of these shifts Wednesday evening.  Who knows perhaps an emergency will pop up and my night will be a lot more preoccupied.  I never want or wish any harm to any animal but from a learning and educative stand point it would be nice to get my hands dirty sort of speak instead of just playing bed nurse at the moment.  Still baby steps and everything will come in due time; it is the experience and exposure that counts for the moment ;)

Onto the update of my current situation; as you can still my online donation charity is still more or less at the same level as it was before Christmas, which is to be expected considering the holidays but I am hoping that more people will donate once the holiday cheer and what not has worn off.   Although I did get quite a few donations in person from people and I actually had a couple of teachers tell me that they would donate some cash to my cause as well.  I cannot say once again how appreciative I am of any donation or any help that has been provided to me over this last little while.  Ill try and keep you posted and updated as I go but seventh semester seems like it is going to be quite a busy one so hopefully I can survive this semester and hopefully with enough contributions from generous souls such as yourself I’ll be able to go to and start my clinical rotations come four months.

So until my next post...........

Much love to all =D

Once again please share this with whoever you can, every little bit helps and is greatly appreciated :)

On to 7th!!!!!! =D

 The title says it all; I’ve officially passed my sixth semester of vet school.   

Which I have to say is sooooooo relieving and a great feeling.  My self and others in my semester were stressing quite a bit about these finals; especially when it came to our SAS (small animal surgery) final.  Our class average was one of the lowest in a while and a many students were either failing or just on the cusp going into finals. 

Thankfully sixth semester is done and over with.  Now time to concentrate on seventh semester and continuing my efforts to try and raise enough money to actually pay for my seventh semester.  I still have my fundraiser open and at the moment I am watching as many animals as physically possible to try and raise as much money as I can this break.  Although this means I cannot really enjoy my break but sometimes sacrifices have to be made so one can continue later on.  This is unfortunately one of those times for me. 

On a more positive note, it looks like my brother shall be visiting me come one week time, which I am super excited about.  It has been close to a year since Ive seen him and for those of you who know me and my brother, you will know that we are very close; we used to be almost inseparable.  That has probably been one of the hardest things for me living down here in St. Kitts is the distance from my brother.  So I am super stoked to have him come down here to visit me. 

So that is it for now, I’ll try and write again sometime soon to finish my story about my time here in St. Kitts and also about my trip to Guatemala which was quite the experience.  One last shout out before I head out today, I would like to thank my amazing girlfriend, Lily Prado for her support and for being so amazing during these times, so..........................

BABY!

Much love to all! =)

Jonathan